


Sometimes Goodbye Is A Second Chance

by Tamix13



Category: Shinedown (Band)
Genre: Happy ending though, M/M, just watch yourself, suicide attempt tw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-28
Updated: 2015-07-28
Packaged: 2018-04-11 19:46:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,312
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4449887
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tamix13/pseuds/Tamix13





	Sometimes Goodbye Is A Second Chance

Brent couldn’t believe it, he just couldn’t fucking believe it.

He and Zach were engaged for God’s sake; they had been planning their marriage for months now! They even had a date picked out and everything.

So why now, why at all, had Zach decided to cheat on him?

And be caught doing it nonetheless!

Brent buried his face in his hands, exhausted and confused. Needless to say, he had gotten very little sleep last night, choosing instead to try and figure out what the hell he was going to do. He’d told Zach that he wanted to talk, but he had absolutely no idea what Zach was going to say. Brent didn’t know if he could handle it if Zach said that he didn’t love him anymore. He loved the guitarist more than anything, and a stupid mistake wasn’t going to change that. 

At least, he hoped it had been a mistake…

Brent groaned, rubbing at his eyes roughly.

What if it was his fault?

What if he had done something to make Zach feel like he couldn’t be with Brent anymore?

The more he thought about it, the more likely it seemed. Brent had unknowingly done something to make Zach hate him and Zach had found someone better.

It wouldn’t be hard to find someone better, Brent thought bitterly. The singer knew his own shortcomings: he could be moody and distant and way too clingy.

And maybe Zach had just gotten tired of that.

But why hadn’t the guitarist just told Brent about this instead of going off and sleeping with someone else? Brent would’ve understood; they could have worked something out.

Unless Zach thought that it was too late to work things out. Unless he thought that what Brent had done (whatever that was) was irreparable.

So Brent really did hope that this talk would clear some things up for both of their sakes.

The singer looked up at a knock on his door.

“It’s open,” he called, and heard the door open, followed by the familiar sound of Zach kicking his shoes into the tray in the hall. They didn’t live together yet, but Zach was over often enough that the sound was familiar.

Familiar enough to make Brent tear up because this wasn’t just going to be another ordinary night of watching shitty horror movies and making out.

Zach poked his head into the living room.

“There you are.” The guitarist sat down on a chair across from where Brent was on the couch.

“So…” he started, then seemed to falter and trail off.

“So,” Brent said softly, not liking the tone of Zach’s voice. The guitarist wasn’t even looking at him; all of his attention was focused on his hands folded in his lap. “Zach?”

“I think we should break it off.”

“I-wait, what?” Brent stared at Zach, shocked by what the blond had just said. Maybe he hadn’t heard him right.

“The engagement. I think we should break it off…”

Nope, Brent hadn’t misheard.

“What the hell do you mean?” Zach fidgeted a little at Brent’s tone.

“I just think that we should see if this is what we really want, is all. Take a little break before we decide if we really want to commit…”

Brent really couldn’t believe what he was hearing.

“What, take a break so you can fuck other people?” Zach full-on flinched at that.

“No that’s not what I-”

“Seriously, if you didn’t want to marry me, or you have a problem with me, why didn’t you just tell me? Why go through all this? What did I even do; was I not good enough for you or something?” Zach tried to say something, but Brent kept talking. “I know I can be weird and clingy but couldn’t you have just told me that you didn’t like it?” Brent got up suddenly, turning away from Zach and the blond’s suddenly pale face. “You know what, I don’t even care anymore. I don’t want to sit here and listen to your shitty excuses, get out.” Zach blinked at Brent’s abrupt outburst.

“Brent?”

“You heard me, get out. Take this with you!” Yanking the ring off of his finger, Brent flung it brusquely at the guitarist, then stormed off. Zach picked the engagement ring out of his lap, then slowly got up and went to put his shoes back on.

But he left the ring on Brent’s kitchen counter.   
~~~~  
When Brent finally emerged from his room, thinking half-heartedly about dinner, he didn’t notice the ring at first. It was only when he went to get a glass for some water, feeling dehydrated from crying, that he saw the glint of it on his counter-top.

The glass got the brunt of it, shattering on the floor where Brent threw it before the singer slammed a fist into the wall. He grabbed the ring, contemplated hurling it somewhere, before ultimately sinking to the floor, heedless of both the broken glass and his throbbing, bleeding knuckles.

He then got up, deposited the ring gently back on the counter, and retreated back into his room.  
~~~~  
“Zach, have you heard from Brent at all? I haven’t been able to get ahold of him for a couple of days now, and we have practice tomorrow.” Zach looked up from his guitar to glower at Eric.

“I’m not supposed to be talking to him, remember? At least, that’s the message I got when he yelled at me to get out of his house.”

“Oh, you guys haven’t kissed and made up by now? I’m surprised. You did kind of fuck up pretty badly though.”

“Yes Eric, I realize that fact. I ruined one of the best things that’s ever happened to me, just because I was fucking drunk and didn’t realize what was going on.” Zach buried his head in his hands while Eric rubbed his back.

“Hey, hey I”m sure Brent would understand if you explained.”

“I tried! He freaked out and never gave me a chance to! I suppose I deserve it though…”

“Maybe you do, but there’s no reason for him to be ignoring my texts. I’m kind of worried.” Zach reached over to grab Eric’s phone and used it to call Brent, crossing his fingers and hoping that the singer would answer. However, he just got Brent’s voice mail.

“Shit…” Zach stared at the phone. “No answer…”

“Yeah, that’s what I’ve been getting. Maybe you should actually go over there? May do you some good instead of just sitting here moping around,” Eric suggested. “Might be a good opportunity to explain yourself too.”

“If he even lets me in…”

“Maybe he’s cooled down a bit by now. It has been a couple days after all; even his temper isn’t that bad.”

“Yeah, you say that now. Just don’t be surprised if they find my body in a ditch somewhere after this.”

“Oh stop being such a drama queen, Myers. Just go apologize to the guy so you two can go back to being all sickeningly sweet to each other.” 

“Shut the fuck up.” Zach swatted fondly at Eric’s head, then stood up. “Come with me?”

“Ohhhh no no no, you gotta fight your own battles, kid. You fucked up, you gotta pay the consequences.” 

“Fuck...alright alright I’m going.”

“Hey.” Eric caught Zach’s arm. “Good luck man, I mean it.”

“Thanks bro…”  
~~~~  
When Zach got to Brent’s house, he let himself in with his key rather than knocking. That way, he figured that there was less of a chance of Brent just shutting the door on him, and hopefully would give him a chance to explain.

Brent’s house was dark and silent, odd for the singer. Brent normally kept music or the TV on when he was home alone. And Zach had seen his car, so he knew Brent was home. Unless he was just sleeping, but at three in the afternoon, Zach didn’t much think that was the case.

The guitarist wandered upstairs, thinking that Brent was just working on stuff in his office and wanted the peace and quiet. 

As he passed Brent’s room and the guest bathroom to get to the office at the end of the hall, he heard a soft noise from in the bathroom. Zach looked over and startled. Brent was sitting on the floor of the bathroom, leaning against the wall. 

 

“Brent? What are you doing down there?” The singer looked up slowly, glassy eyes focusing on Zach. 

“Zach?” The glazed over eyes sharpened some and Zach saw Brent move as if to shove something in the pocket of his jeans.

“What was that?” Zach stepped forward.

“Nothing,” Brent said quickly. “What the hell are you doing here?” Zach frowned a little. Something about Brent seemed off, but he couldn’t put his finger on what it was. 

‘I came to check on you. Eric was worried about you because you weren’t answering his calls or texts. So he badgered me into coming so I could check on you and because I...wanted to try and explain…” 

“You can tell Eric that I’m fine...and no amount of explaining will help your case, you know.”

“Are you okay? You sound weird.”

“Told you m’fine…” Brent leaned his head back against the wall. “Just tired…”

“Are you drunk or something?” Zach crouched down next to Brent, trying to make the singer look at him. “Brent, look at me.”

“Not drunk...just fucking tired. Go away, just leave me alone…” 

“I’m not going to leave you alone; you’re not fine at all.” Zach reached out to touch Brent’s arm, but the singer flinched away, nearly tumbling over. As he did so, the things that he had hastily shoved in his pocket when Zach had seen him fell out onto the floor. Zach lunged for them, beating Brent to it, and scooped the two items up. One was a folded-up piece of paper and the other, a small nondescript bottle of pills. 

Zach stared at the bottle for a couple silent moments, too stunned at first to even move.

“Brent…” he murmured. “Brent please tell me this isn’t what it looks like.” Brent laughed, mirthless and breathy.

“And why would you even care if it was?”

“I’m still your friend, you fucking idiot!” Zach yelled, stunned by Brent’s uncaring demeanor. “I’m still going to give a shit when I find out you’re taking Oxy again! That’s what this is, isn’t it? That’s why you’re acting so weird, you’re fucking stoned!”

Brent smiled, eyes closing again. That’s when Zach remembered the other thing that he’d grabbed: the folded-up piece of paper. Realizing that he was still holding it, he opened it, only to be greeted by Brent’s familiar handwriting. The blond skimmed the note, growing more and more horrified as he read. When he’d finished, his head snapped up to make eye contact with the singer.

“No…” he whispered.

“Already done, sweetheart,” Brent rasped. “Can’t change my mind now.” 

“No, you can’t do that you selfish bastard!”

“That’s really rich, you calling me selfish, you know.” Zach’s mouth fell open as he scrambled for something, anything to say that would help right now. 

 

“H-How long ago?” He managed to get out. “How long ago did you take the pills?”

“‘Bout twenty minutes before you got here…” Brent’s eyes were still closed, and his voice was getting more and more quiet and breathy as he spoke. 

“Shit…” Zach leaned over and shook Brent’s shoulder roughly. “Brent, no. No, you can’t do this, I won’t let you.” Brent didn’t respond, didn’t open his eyes. The singer’s breathing was shallow and uneven and now Zach was starting to actually panic.

“Shit Brent wake up! Please wake up...you can’t just die like this Brent; you’re better than this!” Tears were steadily dripping down Zach’s face now, but he made no attempt to wipe them away. When Brent’s breathing stuttered however, Zach was driven to frantic action. Dialing 911, he nervously chewed on his nails, keeping a close eye and ear on the singer. He couldn’t believe that Brent had used the same drug that he had been addicted to to try and...commit suicide. The enormity and weight of the word drove Zach’s breath away and he hunched over, trying not to have a panic attack, trying to keep calm. Panicking wouldn’t help Brent, he told himself. It was just the sheer fact that Brent felt driven to take his own life over this, over something that Zach had done, when the singer reassured many people, over and over, that nothing was worth taking their own lives. And now here he was, dying in front of Zach, because of Zach. 

And Zach did feel responsible. He had done something that had broken Brent so much that the singer had felt no choice but to resort to something that he avidly spoke out against. The guitarist felt the weight of that. If Brent actually died (something that Zach was trying very hard not to think about), then it would be like Zach killed him.   
~~~~  
Driving to the hospital after the ambulance had come and taken Brent (because they weren’t actually married yet, they hadn’t allowed him to ride with Brent), Zach called Eric, figuring that the bassist would want to know where he was after all this time.

“Hey short stuff,” Eric answered the phone teasingly. “Did you and Brent make nice or are you calling me from the afterlife?” 

Not fucking funny…

“Eric listen,” Zach started hurriedly. “Brent overdosed on Oxy. He was trying to kill himself because of my stupid mistake. I can’t talk long, I’m driving to the hospital right now.”

“Zach what the hell-?”

“Just call Barry and get to the hospital. I’ll find you guys in a bit, I”m sure they have a million questions for me.”

“Zach-”

“I’m really sorry, I have to go.” Zach hung up, feeling bad for just dropping this on the bassist, but he trusted Eric to follow through.   
~~~~  
After about a million questions, Zach was free to go find Eric and Barry. He was just looking around the waiting room when he was nearly bowled over in a tight Eric Bass hug. Zach didn’t even complain, he just leaned into his friend and burst into tears.

“Hey hey shhhh,” Eric soothed, stroking a hand through Zach’s hair. “It’ll be okay; it’ll be fine…” He led the guitarist to sit, rubbing his back gently.

“Where’s Barry?” Zach whispered once he’d gotten a hold of himself a little, noticing the lack of their drummer.

“He was busy with something that he couldn’t get out of immediately. He said if he can get here before visiting hours end that he would.”

“This is all my fault…” Zach said hoarsely.

“Hey now…”

“But it is! If I hadn’t fucked up so bad…”

“Zach.” Eric turned the blond’s head to face him. “Brent wouldn’t want you beating yourself up like this.”

“He’s gonna hate me when he wakes up…”

“Okay, if I know anything at all, it’s that Brent Smith does not or will not hate you. I don’t think he could ever hate you.” Zach peeked up at the bassist, who smiled reassuringly at him.

“You think?”

“I’m one hundred percent sure,” Eric said with a laugh. “That man loves you with every fiber of his being. He’s so sappy about you, it’s unbelievable. I’m sure you guys will make up.” Zach opened his mouth to reply, but a nurse interrupted.

“Excuse me, but it one of you Zachary Myers?”

“That would be me,” Zach replied, scared all of the sudden. What if she said that Brent hadn’t made it?

“However, his fears were alleviated when she smiled.

“Mr. Smith pulled through just fine. Were were able to get his breathing steadied and everything stabilized. He’s not awake yet, but you can see him if you’d like. Only you for now, however.” Zach looked apologetically over at Eric but the bassist waved a hand.

“Go on, go on. I’m sure I’ll be seeing him soon enough.” Zach got up and followed the nurse to the room that Brent was in.

He looked so pale and small in the hospital bed, with an oxygen mask over his nose and mouth, and tubes and wires coming off his arms.

“Take as long as you need,” the nurse said kindly, before leaving to give Zach some alone time with the sleeping singer. Zach pulled a chair up to Brent’s bedside and flopped down in it, exhausted beyond belief. Brent looked so peaceful that all Zach wanted to do was crawl in bed next to him and sleep for about ten years. He settled on carefully taking one of Brent’s hands and just holding it, resting his head on his other arm.  
~~~~  
Zach must have fallen asleep, because when he opened his eyes, it was dark outside the window. Nice of the nurses and doctors to just let him stay and sleep with Brent like that; he must have really looked tired and in need of rest.

The next thing that he noticed was that Brent was awake and watching him, oxygen mask now gone.

“Hey,” Zach murmured.

“I’m alive…” Brent said in a faint tiny voice that nearly broke Zach’s heart.

“Yeah, I called 911 and got you to the hospital. Please don’t hate me for this Brent, please. I couldn’t lose you, I just couldn’t. I love you too much to let you do this to yourself.” 

“Then why the hell did you cheat on me?”

“I didn’t...Brent you’ve got to believe me. I was drunk and this fucking girl that I knew from high school came up to me at the bar. We got to talking and she said that she still had a thing for me, and kissed me. Brent, I swear I told her I was engaged. That’s not something I would forget; I wasn’t that drunk. She said she didn’t give a fuck and kissed me again, and that’s when you…” Zach trailed off, squeezing his eyes shut when he remembered the pained, betrayed look on Brent’s face. “I never fucking slept with her; it was just those two kisses that she forced on me.” Zach stopped, out of breath and looking at Brent earnestly.

“She told me that you slept with her before that night…”

“What?!” It felt like all the air had left Zach’s lungs, leaving him open-mouthed and unable to speak.

“After you ran off...she said that…” Brent’s eyes had closed again. “She said that you were sick of me and that you wanted someone who could give you a real family.”

“Shit, she’d better pray that she never runs into me again,” Zach hissed.

“So you never slept with her?” Brent asked, and Zach thought he heard a hopeful note in the singer’s soft voice.

“No, I didn’t even remember her name!” The guitarist said with a laugh. “I never really liked her anyways. I tolerated her because she was friends with some of my friends but that’s about it. Something about realizing that I liked guys a bit more than girls, maybe?” Brent snorted softly, and took Zach’s hand, making the guitarist’s chest warm.

“I trust you about this Zach. It may take me a bit to recover fully, but on this, I trust you.”

Zach didn’t even try to stop himself from bursting into tears for about the third time that day, and buried his face against Brent’s shoulder. The singer settled a hand on the back of Zach’s head gently. 

“Shhhh...I’m sorry too hon, for not giving you a chance to explain.”

“L-Let’s just agree to never do this again, okay?” Zach whispered.

“I think that could be arranged.” Brent leaned over to kiss Zach’s forehead.

“Me and you, right Zach?” he murmured.

“Me and you.”


End file.
